cut it out

i have been back to the provo campus now for one week. and all week i have been tormented by boys looking like missionaries i know.
every where i go i swear i run into older boys that look SO SIMILAR to the those i know who are on missions. so far i thought i have seen: john, spencer, james, ben, lee, reed and phil. i legitimately think its them. i suppose i am just using my old mental files on people i used to see on campus from last winter semester when i was at this campus last.

just each time i just get faked out.
it is so emotionally exhausting because when i first see them i immediately think "hooray! i haven't seen ______ (insert friend on mission's name) in forever! oh i am so excited!"

i start to bubble up some energy for a warm salutation but then it gets crushed because then i think "oh wait, why are they at school? they should be in _____ (insert any country or state you would like). did something happen? oh no... this could be awkward. why are they home?"

by this time i have come closer to the boy in question just to realize that this is in fact NOT my friend. i don't know why i am surprised every time it happens. i am slightly happy that my friends are still on missions but disappointed that for a second i thought it was them.

its very conflicting and draining. i can't keep this up. going from excitement to concern to disappointment is hard to go through all in 30 seconds. i guess i just need to accept that the amount of the male population on campus i am friends with is significantly cut down for another year.

but all you boys on campus who look like my friends just cut it out.

i hear plastic surgery is on sale in Argentina this year. just something to consider...